Thursday, July 22, 2010


I sat today and tried to write a note
telling you I'd like to slit your throat
if it would only take back all of those things you said
but then I realized I'd never live with you dead

I don't know what sleep is or what food tastes like anymore
since you came walking through my open door
giving me those precious looks with those deep eyes
it didn't take me long to realize

My only problem right now is you
And the constant nothings that you do
You suck me in then push me away
And things seem to change with every passing day

I never know what's going on now
I try to figure out exactly how
I allowed you to have this much over me
And to be the cause of such misery

3 times in your arms
3 shooting stars
3 wishes
3 kisses

When I see you again, will it be the same?
Will we continue this silly game?
Will you make up your mind?
Because a love like this is hard to find

I'm doing my best to back off and wait
I'm trying so hard not to irritate
My tears I've really grown to hate
And I can't stand that I still smile

every time that damn cell phone vibrates

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Ahh, the time I fell in love with that one barista

I was looking through some old stuff and came across this poem I had written about a Starbucks barista while I was working at Citrus Park mall.

The concierge booth I (wo)manned was right behind the kiosk and when we were slow I'd find myself just staring at him.

Pathetic, I know.

But he gave me free stuff.

AND even brought me tea when I was sick once.


But then there was this one day.

Valentine's Day of all days.

My STUPID self went and bought him some candy (because I had bought some for him for Easter...AND Christmas) in the shape of a heart with a little bag and everything.

It was my "please, get the hint because this is driving me nuts" attempt.

I gave it to him when a girl was with him.

I swear to you, she LOOKED like his little sister or cousin or something.

Turns was his girlfriend.

*smacks forehead*

He introduces me.

"Well, you guys will surely enjoy the candy then!"


She didn't seem to care.

It was like nothing to her.

That's why it was so confusing.

I avoided Starbucks for like a week but my chai tea cravings were too much one day.

He was working. (Crap!)

"Hey Jenn! Thanks again for that candy! It was good!"

"Nooo problem. Soooo....did you have fun with your girlfriend on Valentine's Day?"

"Oh yeah, we just did family stuff and hung out."

I nodded.

And then said "Well, see ya!" and ran.


At least I did it right?

He was so cute and so nice and was always so freaking POSITIVE and I love people like that.

Anyways, here's the freaking poem.

*end memory*


proves difficult
when your quintessence
is so apparent

I sense your presence,
look up
and there you are


you smile
time stands still

The world around me
ceases to exist
and there is only
eyes locking

Yours and mine

I try to speak
but my lips remain silent

And you just walk by
never knowing how I feel inside

November 16, 2008