Get it? There's just not really any fear here. At least not that I'm feeling.
I had a mini epiphany in the shower. "I must blog," I said.
My mind was just drifting and I started thinking about the places I've been over the past few months. The people I've seen, the places I've crashed at, chilled for a bit. Whatever.
I was thinking about how free it felt to not really have a permanent home. I mean, I always have a place to stay....always. Whether it's here, in Michigan, hell even in Wisconsin and I bet other places that I might not have even visited yet. How sometimes, after all I've gone through, that I'm so overwhelmed with bullshit that I can't even see and appreciate how many homies I really have and how they're hooking me up.
As for overexposure?
I swear, there is something about Florida that's just something you've never experienced unless you've lived here. Especially in this, the Tampa Bay area. This place feels lazy. But not like in a bad way. It's more of a mellow, carefree "whatever" feeling. You're not really motivated to do much more than just sit back and relax when it's usually pretty sweltering outside. Things just don't grow like they do in other places I've been.
It's a place you don't want to get stuck in though. I think others will agree.
It's a cool place for me to have spent my teenage years and now my twenties. I don't feel like it's the place that I'm going to die in though. Ya know? I definitely don't want it to be. I feel the journey doesn't stop here....it's just that tag base you go back to every once in a while.
Ok, so seriously....overexposure.
I'm staying with Mike right now and he has a clear shower curtain in his bathroom.
I don't know if you've ever taken a shower with a clear curtain but it feels so open.
Like....if you close your eyes you might think for a minute that the whole world is watching you.
It's kind of awkward.
I don't know....but it's still like you don't want to ever leave the confines of that great open space.
The water keeps running and you're just like, "No. I am not getting out of this. I could stand here all day."
I thought about other showers I've been in. The different types of shampoos, soaps and conditioners I've used. Each little shower space has it's own identity.
It's own scrubbing away of certain things from certain situations in certain places.
I feel open in this town.
I feel like I can talk to pretty much anyone.
I feel like I can run into someone I know everywhere I go.
And it often does happen.
It's a place where people can be comfortable in laziness together.
But it's more of like a "I'm a free artist" lazy rather than a "I just don't do anything, I'm a couch potato" type of lazy.
Do you get what I mean?
People are creating things here. People are chasing dreams even if they have to leave here to do it.
I thought about how the season changes are good for my writing.
Here, you can get lost in the beach breeze no matter how far you are from its shores.
You can catch a whiff of it in the humid air if you breathe deep enough.
My writing in the north was very rigid.
It had some sort of order to it so that words would flow together right.
I would struggle for things to make sense.
Here, in Florida, words dance across notebook pages and they pair up with whatever word they choose whether it makes sense or not.
The cowgirl falls in love with the scuba diver.
Here my poetry is usually about lack of motivation or sunsets.
And boy are they beautiful here.
For me Florida is the land of free and open and sometimes it's hard to deal with and it gets dramatic because no matter how hard you try to just be that laid back chill person, since you're so open your business tends to fly around like wild flames in this place. Then you lose it. Human ego still has the ability to fall into intense overemotions.
And that part sucks.
But it's not really a place of grudges.
People seem to get over things quicker here.
So more of the moment of clarity:
I was thinking about how Ryan called me a hobo because I roll my cigarettes now.
It's a little economic trick I picked up in Port Huron.
"Why?" I asked. "Because I'm poor?"
"Because you roll your own cigarettes....and you look like a hobo."
I don't know what a hobo is supposed to look like but I automatically pictured the typical, bundle attached to a stick over the shoulder, dirty patched up jacket hobo we see in pictures.
Maybe they have clown faces.
So....I thought about hobos, gypsys and then to my surprise I started to think about Jesus.
"Jesus could have been a hobo...."
Then it dawned on me.
Jesus....was a beach bum.
That's what Hudson was making me feel like.
A total beach bum.
And I thought it would be cool to truly live on the beach for like a year and BE a beach bum for real.
I pictured Jesus sitting on a beach.
Maybe a beach like Hudson beach who knows?
Talking to his friends.
But he wasn't just conversing. He was connecting.
There is definitely a difference.
I'm sure you've all had this experience.
Those conversations that just suck you in and they're usually conversations you never forget.
Even if you never see the person you were talking with again you remember them.
So Jesus is talking with his friends and of course the subject of religion comes up.
Maybe more than that though.
He started talking about what he felt was wrong.
What he felt was right.
And people listened and gave their similar opinions.
They all decide to rise up and then their leader is killed.
He was actually "raising up" the love frequency vibe.
It exists whether we choose to or not, think about it.
It's the one thing we humans never stop searching for and never stop seeing it even in the most mundane of situations.
I feel it's the reason we're here.
So, Jesus and his friends just roamed around the town.
Stayed with people.
Didn't even have permanent addresses.
Just wandering around talking about stuff.
Eating different foods, experiencing different types of personalities and cultures.
Sounds pretty cool huh?
Especially when you remove all of the technicalities and "things up for discussion or controversy".
Jennifer Neal: Pro Beach Bum
It's got a nice ring to it.
Today is Billy's birthday and people are supposed to come visit and chill.
It will be fun I'm sure.
Last night we had a bit of a Nintendo party and it was nice to see Robert and Carinna.
I hope Ryan's migraine is better today.
And I hope this crazy cold of mine doesn't last too much longer.
I am enjoying every day immensely though and it's all in the name of love and chill.
So have a Soothing Sunday today folks.
Hell, if you're in the Tampa Bay area, get off of your lazy beach bums and go to the beach.
Peace out homies.